Love in These Times

Love has so many obstacles to overcome these days. People who cheat, people who believe too much in astrology, people bound by responsibilities, people obliged to family, people for whom money's no.1 priority, people who differentiate on basis of caste, people misguided by looks. Takes so much. So many obstacles for love to overcome.

V-Day. Do we need a day to celebrate all that's fake? What do I see? - Couples who fight over petty issues over n over gain, who are disdainful towards each other, who are afraid to admit their relationship's a failure but acting all mushy on V-Day. Maybe they are trying to make it work? Or maybe they are trying to convince themselves and the world this is not the end of it? Or maybe it's just peer pressure (which really takes the cake you know?) Who knows.

People wait their whole lives for that special someone. That's what the mistake is. The wait. The thing's we are so used to waiting for the right one to come along that even when they do appear, we forget to recognize them for who they are. Your dreams are tied to that person you are waiting for, thinking he/she'll sweep you off your feet, thinking they'll love you like no other. It's all an infatuation with fairy tales. Doesn't always work out in life that ways. Funny thing is even after all the waiting and all the deliberation, you still choose the wrong person.

No, you don't choose the one who's silent, who's always in the background, who's always there for you no matter what. No, you don't choose the one who respects you; yes, does get possessive at times, can be a moron at times but really cares, who accepts your faults just as well your virtues. No, you don't choose who loves you for who you are. No, you don't choose him/her. But you choose the one who 'portrays' affection rather than feeling it. Who'd maybe ignite a spark in you, but in the end it's just that; just a spark. Relationships need more than that to work. More like a candle which wouldn't blow out. Until separation manifests itself as death. Yes, you choose what you thought your love should be like. Just like in the fairy tales but you never realize who you actually love's completely different from who you thought you'd love.

And even after that, you are with him/her. Trying to find what you thought was right with them, which made you say yes in the first place, which really never existed. V-day should be more like a celebration of death of a relationship- D-day. That's all you see. Couples holding hands, not out of love but just because that's the way couples are supposed to be. Whole bunch of unhappy people. I don't know even if this makes any sense to you. But I've seen enough and I've been disappointed enough.

Love needs respect, commitment, communication, trust, hurt, anger, a little bit of possessiveness, understanding, maturity, patience and silence. And just maybe a little bit of money but not really; I refuse to believe a relationship which has all those, would be bound by monetary issues.

I think most of us could look up to our parents. I know I can to mine. Made me realize love is not about 'it' working, but more about trying to make it work and then maybe not even trying cause actually it does work. I think the foremost thing we need in ANY relationship is 'acceptance'. That's it. That's the whole long and short of it. Acceptance for the way things are sometimes - good or bad. Acceptance of your partner's virtues and faults, strengths and weaknesses.

And I think we can look to kids too. I think they got it right. Their love is an innocent manifestation of their feelings towards anyone. They love their folks, their siblings, their friends, even the people they hate in a loving kind of way. There's no show, no pretense, just unconditional, innocent love.

But sometimes even parents have it wrong. Many of us look up to them blindly even when it comes to love, but we forget that they too were as confused as we are at this age. Maybe they themselves haven't got it figured out yet. Or maybe they do, but their wish of  'always wanting the best for their kid' gets the better of them. I mean it's surprising to find people who are so influenced by their folks, who say "I'll do an arrange marriage rather than a love marriage cause my folks obviously want the best for me and know who'll be the best for me." Not really. He/she might be the best but might not be the best for you, may not love you truly and who's to say you would truly love them. And I even know people who being in a relationship admit, if folks say 'no', that's the end of it, I am leaving this band-wagon and hopping onto the one my folks say. WHAT? And the funny thing is, sometimes both the parties are aware of this. Call it the curse of this 'practical' generation. 

One of my friend says anyone can love (pyaar toh sabhi karlenge). I don't think so. You could love a dog if you stayed with it long enough. Getting used to someone being there's not the same as falling in love. World of difference between the two. They will but it's not love love. It's a different feeling, it's a different connect. You can't explain it. Attempting to encompass 'love' in words, is a failure in itself. Try as you may, if you don't feel it, you don't know it...

....All I hope for is we all to find the right one for us and to remember that love needs no convincing, just a little bit of courage, that Love ain't easy, but it's worth it.


P.S.: Dedicated to a really very special friend of mine, who even after all the resistance and all the obstacles, faces each day with immense courage, who's a ray of hope for many like me. And dedicated a little bit to me, who lives in the hope "It's all good", if not today then someday ;).

 

"If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give up all I possess and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

       Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - I Corinthians

How Falling In Love Could Have Been Avoided

God shouldn't have given us a face, just to prevent us from falling in love.

If the eyes weren't there, then what would I fall in love with? What would so gently lead me deep inside you, to your very soul? How would I see your concern, your questions, your doubts, your love? What would look at me for assurance and what would I look at, for comfort? What would make the 'kajjal' you apply, not seem just like a meaningless thin black line? In front of what would those stray strands of hair fall and make you look simply-irresistibly cute? How would I know, without those soft eyes that you hold me with, you mean to say -I Love You.

If the ears weren't there, what would I fall in love with? Behind what would you gently place the stray strands of hair that keep falling in front of your eyes? What would I nibble softly at? What would hear the words I want to say? What would I softly whisper to, to let you know I care, that it's okay and that I'll always love you?

If the lips weren't there, what would I fall in love with? What would I imagine kissing a thousand times? What would you purse at being uncomfortable or at feeling shy? What would make your smile so special? What would make me jealous even of the lip-stick that touches your very lips?

If the teeth weren't there, what would I fall in love with? What would sparkle like a billion stars? What would I look at with so much interest and observe that they resemble pearls arranged in one sweet though a bit hap-hazardous line? What would complete your smile?

If the smile wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would so easily captivate me and hold me a slave to it forever? What would turn my frown up-side down? What would reach from your heart to mine? What would ignite a fire so bright in the very core of my being, that would make the light from a thousand stars dim in comparison? What would fill the deep void that my soul is?

If the tongue wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would poke-out ever so often and ever so gently, in response to my mischief and my flirting?

If the mouth wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? Where would the voice come from, that mesmerizes? Where would the words come from, that someday would form 'I Love You' ?

If the nose wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? Where would the soft kisses be planted? What would turn red and signal me that a barrage of tears is to follow? What would flare up at being upset and at being angry? What would portray your annoyance and dis-approval with the slightest twitch?

If your scent wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would I breathe and know then it's you even before you appear? What would etch itself so deep in my memory, that every time I catch the scent, I turnaround just hoping to find you, even though I know at that moment we're miles apart?

If the neck wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? How would I feel the warmth in your hug? What would make the necklace look prettier than it actually is? What would the dupatta of your salwaar surround?

If the 'til' wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would complete your face, your neck, your hands? What would I secretly stare at while you're not paying attention?

God shouldn't have given us a sense of touch too. If your touch wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would send shivers down my spine just as we brush against each other accidentally? What would tell me then, how soft and yet firm your hands are? What would fit so perfectly in the gap between my fingers as yours?

God shouldn't have given us a heart too. If your heart wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? How would I know there's another one that beats in perfect unison with mine? How would I know that my heart dances to the rhythm of yours? What would tell me then that I truly, honestly Love you? That you're special, that you hold a power over me that no-one else does? That I'd like you to forever be mine?

Here's a solution for God to prevent us from needlessly falling in love. Or he should just give us the person we desire.

Dedicated to all the women I have truly ever fallen in love with. God Bless.