Facebook = Voyeurism?

Pre-Scriptum: I use 'Facebook' here only to give the social networking sites a name and fb being the most popular, comes under the hammer. Fb in this article refers to all such sites.

Before the people start harping on my ass and calling me a hypocrite, here's what I've done: I've deleted both my Facebook profiles. All of it ,everyone in it. So now I can vent in peace :D.

I don't know what it is that urges us to know every little detail of anyone's life & also to post minute details of our own. Whatever you feel, whatever you think, WHY does it have to be publicized? Does anything you say really make a difference? Does it really matter to people other than just prompting a few comments on your wall & half a dozen obscenities in private? Cause that's what I used to do - curse hell upon those idiots.

And there are hundreds of such bimbos in my profile, who I couldn't care less about. I know I could easily block the updates of such people. But, that's not the point. The point is that the bloody F***ng stupidity of it all irritates the hell outta me. Self obsessed jerks who if do charity, post it on Facebook; jerks who post the amount of time they waited for a train, the amount they spent in the loo or some such equally astonishingly unnecessary stupid detail; jerks who follow petty agendas such as the 'i like it on the....' series, all in the name of raising awareness about cancer? To state a fellow blogger: WTF??!!

And the amazing thing is as there are people who post such shit, there are people who follow it too, even like it, love it, comment on it and get into an endless and highly meaningless discussion on it. Come on seriously, get a life !!!!! I mean I too have been subject to following the on-goings of my friends' life so closely, that it left me no short of feeling like a stalker (which ultimately made me question myself, what the HELL am I doing???).

This is what Facebook has done to people. Reduced us to brain-dead, nothing-better-to-do, post-it-all, follow-it-all voyeurs. And let's not even mention the hundreds of stupid games people follow like Farmville, Buttville (am sure must be one too) etc. What crap!!

If only we'd better invest the time we spend on Facebook for something else more worthwhile. I realize I have so much more time for myself and the things I want to do (and things I am supposed to be doing at that point of time), now that the Facebook bug's been rid of.

Ok. 'One' would be easy. Give me 'one and a half' useful thing that Facebook has done for you. Other than maybe helping you getting in touch with that old friend of yours with whom you lost contact over the years (as 'twas in my case.) But other than that, nothing. I figure '10' or at-most '15' is the figure, the number of people I want to be in touch with & know about. But then they are close friends & family; and we have the 'phone' to stay connected right.

I have emphasized the phone cause that too at times seems like an outdated thing. I know people who prefer to 'chat' or scrap each other on some such dumb networking site rather than talking to each other. And I know people who'd rather post every detail about their life & look or guidance (comments) from people, other idiots who really don't give 2 hoots about your life, rather than talking it out with someone close.

There's something called as too-easy access and being too much in touch. I think now people need to be more out-of-touch than being in-touch. It's become too easy now. I liked the days when people would take an effort to be in touch or at-least remember each other. It's really become way too easy now. Don't what a certain friend is upto? Oh, just log into facebook & check his status updates or just leave a message if you feel like it. That's not what staying in touch is about. It's about willingly reaching out to each other, talking to each other, remembering each other and letting the other person know you are willing to make that effort.

And here's where the change has been, that's made the whole effort worthwhile. As I have been off Facebook and as that's not an option anymore, people who matter have noticed and have started putting in an effort again to be in touch via messages or phone again. At-least better than leaving a note on the wall. Cheers to that.

And this post is not meant to criticize the people, but rather to lay a factual picture of really what - I think - is going on. I think what Facebook's really done is laid bare the stupidity and maybe the emptiness of people. The need of the people to share everything with the world has to go. We are giving too much of an entry to people into our lives (if not all, atleast most of us do). Facebook is a revolution. It's what defines this decade, this century, this generation. I would like to start a revolution by not being a part of this one. And let me tell you, "It's All Good" ;) .

P.S.1: Last but not the least, I leave you with a pic and a song which says it almost-all, if not all ;). Enjoy the laugh !

P.S.2: Here's the trailer of the movie Catfish, based on Facebook, based on real world happenings of 2 people. Do watch.

The 'Undiluted' Story of Alcohol

Pre-Scriptum: There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those who drink and those who haggle the people that do. This is my response to all the people who hold drinking to be a vice, who don't understand the 'why' and most probably still won't. But what the heck. At-least it might shut you up :D

There are 2 main reasons for drinking, the right one and the wrong. People who drink for the wrong reasons is the reason alcohol is dis-owned, often misunderstood and often 'the blame' for their antics. I don't condone excessive drinking  & puking & being a nuisance to others. I hate people who get sloshed, create a ruckus, get into fist-fights, misbehave with a woman etc etc. Sadly this is just what the other-side sees and holds to heart. It's these rotten apples who've maligned drinking and obscured its purpose. OK, agreed I have been subject to over-drinking at times myself but I was juvenile then. Now I know that's not what it's about.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."- Frank Sinatra
I'll tell you what 'its' really about. It's about being liberated, about being free, of finally dropping the mask and letting go of the elaborate facade we're hiding behind. It's about coming face to face with yourself and finally having the balls to say what you really feel, be who you really are. It's about connecting with yourself at a higher level, about shutting out the world and having a quiet moment with yourself midst all the noise surrounding your life. So it's kinda like meditation,only better and much easily achieved ;).

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol."- Homer Simpson

Alcohol just serves as a catalyst between us and our emotions. And that's why some people refrain from drinking. Cause they are afraid. Afraid to embrace their deepest thoughts and feelings. Afraid of what they'll let out once they cut loose. Like one of my dearest friends did admit to me, the sole reason he doesn't drink is he's afraid of what might get out (he did give other lame reasons such as not liking d taste..but blah blah..hehe). It's about letting go of these inhibitions. It's about accepting the truth, not in front of the world but to yourself.

"In terms of alcohol in general , it is stimulating to the mind.Those that do not drink are missing out."- Anonymous
Everyone needs a lil push and a lil courage at times. That's what alcohol does. It gives you courage to come to grip with whatever it is that's bothering you. And I personally have my moments of epiphany after drinking. Everything gets crystal clear! :D. Over drinks I have realized I'll never get to be with the girl I liked sooo much, over drinks I have realized I have taken life too easy and something needs to be done, over drinks I have come to terms with my failures. And over drinks I have also cherished the friends and family that I have, the good times I've had and the lucky bugger that I am. Over drinks, I've shed tears for things lost and over drinks I've appreciated the things gained. In a nut-shell, over drinks I have understood life.

"Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets"- Dudley Moore
But everyone drinks for different reasons. Some just to relax, to let loose, some drink in sorrow and some drink in happiness. And it's a good companion for all of these times. And you are mistaken if you think we need alcohol to have fun. We can well do without it too. And you would also say I'm weak if I need alcohol to get me through the bad times. But I say it's just a medicine. If only temporarily, it releases the pain. But it gives a permanent will to fight, just like a good friend/family's support does. To get back up and fight another day. You think it's just a coincidence alcohol is also called a 'spirit'? The 'spirit' in alcohol refers to the human spirit. The spirit to laugh, to cry, to fight, to live. That's all it really is. Nothing more and nothing less.

"I drink to make other people interesting."- George Jean Nathan

And finally, it's about forging new friendships and strengthening old ones . Nothing bonds guys better than a lil bit of alcohol mixed with a lil bit of rock n roll ;). It's when true friendship's are formed. It's just like any other phase in a friendship, like being there for each other, like trusting each other, like anything that takes to make a friendship strong & true, drinking together too is the same. It gets people closer to each other faster than anything else. I'm not saying it's the only medium to form a good friendship, no, but it's a hell of an effective one ;).

“The existence of Beer is proof that God loves us.” — Benjamin Franklin

How Falling In Love Could Have Been Avoided

God shouldn't have given us a face, just to prevent us from falling in love.

If the eyes weren't there, then what would I fall in love with? What would so gently lead me deep inside you, to your very soul? How would I see your concern, your questions, your doubts, your love? What would look at me for assurance and what would I look at, for comfort? What would make the 'kajjal' you apply, not seem just like a meaningless thin black line? In front of what would those stray strands of hair fall and make you look simply-irresistibly cute? How would I know, without those soft eyes that you hold me with, you mean to say -I Love You.

If the ears weren't there, what would I fall in love with? Behind what would you gently place the stray strands of hair that keep falling in front of your eyes? What would I nibble softly at? What would hear the words I want to say? What would I softly whisper to, to let you know I care, that it's okay and that I'll always love you?

If the lips weren't there, what would I fall in love with? What would I imagine kissing a thousand times? What would you purse at being uncomfortable or at feeling shy? What would make your smile so special? What would make me jealous even of the lip-stick that touches your very lips?

If the teeth weren't there, what would I fall in love with? What would sparkle like a billion stars? What would I look at with so much interest and observe that they resemble pearls arranged in one sweet though a bit hap-hazardous line? What would complete your smile?

If the smile wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would so easily captivate me and hold me a slave to it forever? What would turn my frown up-side down? What would reach from your heart to mine? What would ignite a fire so bright in the very core of my being, that would make the light from a thousand stars dim in comparison? What would fill the deep void that my soul is?

If the tongue wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would poke-out ever so often and ever so gently, in response to my mischief and my flirting?

If the mouth wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? Where would the voice come from, that mesmerizes? Where would the words come from, that someday would form 'I Love You' ?

If the nose wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? Where would the soft kisses be planted? What would turn red and signal me that a barrage of tears is to follow? What would flare up at being upset and at being angry? What would portray your annoyance and dis-approval with the slightest twitch?

If your scent wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would I breathe and know then it's you even before you appear? What would etch itself so deep in my memory, that every time I catch the scent, I turnaround just hoping to find you, even though I know at that moment we're miles apart?

If the neck wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? How would I feel the warmth in your hug? What would make the necklace look prettier than it actually is? What would the dupatta of your salwaar surround?

If the 'til' wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would complete your face, your neck, your hands? What would I secretly stare at while you're not paying attention?

God shouldn't have given us a sense of touch too. If your touch wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? What would send shivers down my spine just as we brush against each other accidentally? What would tell me then, how soft and yet firm your hands are? What would fit so perfectly in the gap between my fingers as yours?

God shouldn't have given us a heart too. If your heart wasn't there, what would I fall in love with? How would I know there's another one that beats in perfect unison with mine? How would I know that my heart dances to the rhythm of yours? What would tell me then that I truly, honestly Love you? That you're special, that you hold a power over me that no-one else does? That I'd like you to forever be mine?

Here's a solution for God to prevent us from needlessly falling in love. Or he should just give us the person we desire.

Dedicated to all the women I have truly ever fallen in love with. God Bless.

B'day - 10/04/2010

09/04/2010
23.50 : Just b4 midnite. Phone rings. Srishu. No surprises there really. For the past 3 years, this has been the norm. That sweetheart of a female is always the one to wish me 1st and makes sure of it every year. I have a hunch it's important to her, that it means something to her. Maybe this is our 'thing'. Every friendship has its 'thing', but lets save that topic for another blog. Lets not deviate. I know Anu'll hit her head n say "there he goes again ! ".

Haan..so then, the clock strikes 12 n just like dat-between seconds- I turn 23. Older? - yes. Mature?- hahaha, hell NO !! And the customary series of B'day calls follow. Vinay's in US but still he managed to call at 12'ish somehow and Srishu too's at Gurgaon. Goes to show d gr8 friends v are n dat the distance doesn't really matter. Rahul & Raju tried their best to hide it, but still I knew dey'd land up at 12 to wish me. {I know it's a common thing among friends, but I am an exception. I have no love for this '12'o clock' calls n cake cutting n if u r my friend u know all u'll get for ur efforts is just a bunch of obscenities. Sleep n let sleep I say !! :D }. Neways Afi n Varun followed a while later. The B'day dhamaal's only just yet begun. :D

8.30 : Wake up, rather unwillingly though with a sense of anxiety. N den my neighbor's 10 yr old kid-Karan, gives me 1 of the sweetest gifts of the day- an own-made b'day card, complete with sparkles n stars n a couple of 'tweety's (dunno why) on the cover page and wishes me "Happy B'day Mayank bhaiya !!" {Dat's another surprise. Usually he prefers to call me 'Motu' :D }. And so he gets 2 chocos in return, 1 for the card n the oder for the 'Bhaiya' part.


12.15: Party1: Party time and v'r late already. All Rahul's fault. Idiot's advice on clothes invariably makes me look like a clown (c'mon, not on my b'day atleast !). Neways, quick change n v'r off to Yoko's. I think I was looking forward to this party the most. Lunching with my best buds was gonna b a riot. Although Anu n Chinku'd told me b4hand they wudn't b able to make it, sumwhere I was still hoping for a surprise. But unfortunately they cudn't make it. A lil bit disappointed but thik hai. D rest of my best-buds r der na. Raju, Bob n Silly. Silly's a good friend and altho she doesn't know it, means a lot more to me than she thinks she does and more than I let her know.

Neways, Yoko's is dhamaal ! Order 4 sizzlers for 4 ppl. N to no1's surprise; wasted about 1 n a half sizzler, all bcuz of Raju n Silly. Just 3/4th of a sizzler finished between the 2 of dem and Raju shud b even more ashamed cuz I think Silly actually ate more than him. Missed Anu n Vinay the most then. Both have a voracious appetite and I aint ever seen a girl hav as much as Anu can in 1 sitting. (And it's a compliment !)

So then, between being told- I n Raju make a good pair by Silly, n begging Silly to sing a song n getting a drier than d original version of 'kya bolti tu', the lunch was fun. And highly satisfying too. Burp !! N not to forget the delicious Chocolate Truffle cake. Yum!! Finally some nice pix of the group n a fitting end to a fun party.

19.00: Party 2: The family arrives ! 20 odd ppl with 3 under-a-yr-old kids & pandemonium ensues. Those 3 lil kids cud put 100 strong football-hooligans to shame. Man what a ruckus !! I dint know babies can tire you out faster than u cud say "please, stop !!". Here's how it went. Baby1 starts crying, needs feeding. Baby2's asleep n gets up hearing the baby1 crying, needs to b put back to sleep. Baby1's feeding done, needs to b put to sleep, n so the mum starts walkin around the house makin weird (supposedly comforting) noises to put the baby to sleep. All the while Baby3 who's a yr old and can walk decides to make a mess of the house n dispatches anythin he lays his hands on. Cell phones in the pocket, quick!! Oh no, not my N-97, pleeaasssee!!. Phew, close shave.

N in the midst of all dis hungama, we somehow managed to find the time for the drinking {haan, mere ghar pe allowed hai :D}, the talking, the cake cutting and the dinnering. Thank God party over !! Tired me, tired kids and tired the 2 generations of parents are. But I aint tired enuf to fore-go the party3. Wut. My b'day and no drinking with my buddies? Now, That'll b a day to see.!! ;)

23.30: Party3: Afi, Varun, Raju, Lambu n I land up at Bob's place, complete wid 2 bottles of 'Signature' and the essential chaknas'. All set. Time for the toastin- to d b'day boy, to frnds, to life n last but not d least, to love. Raju tries to drink 'On The Rocks', makes a weird face n calls for the coke. In-experienced fellow { I ain't bragging ;) } . Bob, being the host declined a drink ( dunno wuts wrong wid dis guy!!, but I still love him ). Again the talking begins. Varun as usual is in high spirits. It's amazin how after a couple of drinks, the conversation always turns to the good old days. How things ver den n how dey stand now. Not in a pessimistic way tho, there'r good things about the days gone-by and good things bout the current times too. But there's one thing common between all of us- each one of us hated growing up. But atleast v'r all still together enjoyin a drink and each other's company.

D drinking and the talking continues rite upto 4'o clock.V only finish 1 bottle. That's good tho. Helped every1 loosen up just enuf, without gettin too high. V guys decide to go down just for a walk. Varun my man !! Kinda sloshed dat he is, decides to make a roadside contribution towards the 26th July Rains donation camp { ahem ahem, u understand i hope :D}. Riot !! I have his in-action pic, but I guess posting it here will b a lil too much ;) .

Raju goes home. Afi, Varun n Lambu follow soon after n v'r done. It's 11April already and been one long celebration. Cudn't be happier n cudn't have asked for more. Done dona done done ;). Sleep comes easy now, along with a content smile.

Thanx all, for making this B'day a special one in the way that u did, however big or small !! Love ya All :* !!

P.S.: A special thanx to my Mum, besides for the obvious reason. While i was busy partying thru-out the day, my Mum was busy being a Mum- Preparing dishes for the family party while i was out enjoyin a gr8 lunch, prayin to God that finally an admit comes thru n I get to sleep in peace, worrying about my health n fighting wid me to cancel the 3rd party as it mite b too taxing and pre-jhaading me in her own way for the drinking to happen :). It's all good.